A Leader’s Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries
About the Author: Tricia Allenson
Are You Running a Business or In the Business of People-Pleasing?
for a people-pleasing pep talk, my friends.
🥁🥁🥁🥁
QUIT. IT.
As a recovering people-pleaser, trust me when I say it’s a stealthy pitfall that will break your legs and your spirit on the slow descent into the pit of madness.
People pleasing looks really attractive. It prioritizes conflict avoidance and artificial “positivity” at the expense of making the tough calls that truly benefit your business
Oh, you think it’s as delicious and satisfying as indulging in a slice of chocolate cake. But the cake is a LIE.
Ok, am I projecting? It feels like I’m projecting.
The reality is I’m team EAT THE CAKE BUT SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.
My motto for people-pleasing is the same.
SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.
👆🏻 👏🏻 👆🏻 👏🏻 👆🏻 👏🏻 👆🏻 👏🏻
Because while it might seem like a noble endeavor, people-pleasing is inefficient, unprofitable, and is a huge contributor to burnout. Yikes.
Enter my BFF and yours: HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. 💃🏼
But real quick, let’s just clear up a few things.
What healthy boundaries are:
- Built on healthy, respectful communication between both sender AND receiver
- Insurance for the longevity and success of your business
- Essential for creating a healthy work environment for your, your clients, and employees
- a DANG GOOD TIME!
What healthy boundaries are not:
- An excuse
- A means of scapegoating
- a DANG GOOD TIME! (sometimes)
It can be very uncomfortable to set and maintain healthy boundaries, especially for recovering people-pleasers. (Bless our hearts.)
However, discomfort is not a reason to avoid important work. The same was true for starting your business, and the same is true for nurturing your business!
As you seek to purge this evil from your life 😅, keep a few things in mind:
- It’s a fine line: Standout customer service is not the same thing as people-pleasing. The latter is known for its negative connotation because so often comes at a cost– normally the needs of your business. Exceptional customer service is essential, but not at the expense of your enterprise.
- No ghosting zone: A culture of people-pleasing is unsustainable. If you fail to set boundaries, you have two choices: sacrifice your own business or avoidance. You can only ghost clients or coworkers for so long before profits and productivity take a hit. In the immortal words of Sweet Brown: “Ain’t nobody got time for that.” Instead, sacrifice your comfort and have the difficult conversations.
- Make tough decisions: Someone’s gotta do it. And it might as well be you! Making decisions that benefit your business are crucial, even if they’re unpopular. Tough choices help give you the grit you need to be successful as a business owner. When you stay strong and consistent, over time, the hard decisions will become easier and easier.
- Prioritize your business interests: Putting your business first isn’t selfish; it’s smart. Prioritizing your business will yield more efficient resource allocation, stronger growth, and improved focus for you and the entire team. Prioritizing your own business is how you secure your business oxygen mask before assisting others.
- Just say ‘No!’ There’s tremendous freedom in the word “No.” Failing to do so is a slippery slope that leads to overcommitment, stress, and wish-washy business focus. In fact, research shows that some of the most compassionate people are those who are capable of saying no. “Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it.” -Brene Brown, our compassionate QUEEN.
- Empowered leaders empower leaders: Encourage your team to prioritize business needs over people-pleasing. As a boss, you set the tone of the entire organization. Take this responsibility seriously and foster a culture of assertiveness and clear communication. When everyone’s on the same page, magic happens.
- Adjust your sails: Regularly assess your business’ trajectory, communication, and priorities to ensure they align with your goals. Make adjustments as necessary to avoid slipping back into people-pleasing habits. Have an open conversation with your team about the importance of boundaries. A culture of communication and recalibration is like tuning a guitar—constant tweaks keep it in perfect harmony.
Um… are you totally hyped to kick your people-pleasing patterns to the curb?? Because SAME.
Running a business with a clear focus, clear communication, and healthy boundaries lifts your team and your business in every way.
Most importantly, healthy boundaries will save you tremendous amounts of stress and exhaustion, allowing you to go farther than you imagined. And along the way, you’ll have an incredible team cheering each other on to new heights.
